L is for Lost
by nicol-leoraine
Summary: They just wanted a relaxing night out in town, but it ended up with Toby in trouble.


**A/N: **Written for the alphabet_soup challenge over at LJ. Prompted by argentum_ls, beta read by Tania.**  
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**L is for Lost**

"I'm gonna kick your ass at pool tonight," Oz announced to the mostly empty changing room as he and Toby were preparing to leave work.

"If there is a pool table at Chucks, then I will be the one making the victory dance," Toby protested lightly. They had a grueling shift and the one before it hadn't been any better. The whole week was kinda off track, what with Toby helping out at the station with a kidnapping case, and Ryder being more grumpy than ever, thanks to a visit from his mother in law. Finally the work was over, and the kidnapping case wrapped up. When Olivia called earlier that day and asked if he'd like to go out at a sort of double date with Sandy and Oz, Toby was happy to agree.

The girls picked the place and Toby and Oz headed out, giving a wide berth to the office where Ryder was trying to hide for the night.

"Do you think we should give his wife a call and tell her that Ryder is actually off duty?" Oz asked with a smirk as they reached the safety of his car. Toby paused at the door, giving Oz a look of disbelief.

"Only if you wish to die an early and painful death. Trust me, Ryder has a good reason to hide," he said and settled in the passenger seat while Oz started the car.

"You read him? Come on, spill. Any juicy gossip about our fearless leader?"

Toby just shook his head then rested it against the seat, a knowing smile settling on his face. Oz groaned, and spent the rest of the ride trying to get some info out of Toby. By the time they found a place to park the car and entered the bar, Olivia and Sandy were already inside, sitting behind the bar, being chatted up by two guys. Toby and Oz exchanged a look and quickened their steps. Oz pushed himself right between Sandy and a dark haired man that was seizing him up threateningly. Toby was a little less pushy with Olivia's companion, but he couldn't stop the slight frown as he stepped beside her and touched her shoulder. Olivia looked at him with a smile.

"Toby, you made it," she was blushing a little, but otherwise appeared to be happy with his arrival.

"Yeah, even though for a minute there I thought Oz would need to park the car in the middle of the street. It's pretty crowded around here." Which was true. It was barely nine but most of the bar stools were already occupied.

"Friday night is always busy," the man next to Olivia spoke and gave Toby a strange look.

"Toby, this is Andrew. He and John were keeping us company until you arrived. Andrew, this is my friend Toby. He's a paramedic." Olivia made the introductions and Toby and Andrew shook hands.

"Nice to meet you. Well, seeing as you are here now, we will leave the ladies in your care, right John?" Andrew spoke and stood from the bar stool. John threw him a questioning look, and then as if some signal had passed between them, he nodded.

"Right. We need to go anyway. It was a pleasure, Sandy. Olivia," he gave a slight bow then took his drink and headed to the other side of the bar, probably looking up some single girls. Andrew lingered a moment longer, then with a shrug left after his friend. Toby followed him with his eyes, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. He wanted to read the men but there was nothing clear and there were too many people around to pinpoint just their thoughts. Shaking off the feeling, Toby settled down next to Olivia to join the conversation.

"You should've seen his face. Poor guy looked like he just saw his dog being run over. He stood there, the phone hanging limply by his side, pale as a ghost."

"What happened?" Sandy asked, eyes not leaving Oz as he imitated the lost look. Toby already knew where this was going, but he watched the theatrics with a smile. His stomach grumbled suddenly and he was reminded of skipping lunch. Olivia gave him a disapproving look, and then pushed a plate with peanuts towards him. Toby rolled his eyes but grabbed a handful.

"Eric saw him go white all over, and asked him if someone died. Ryder only said "I wish. My mother-in-law is visiting for the week." Half an hour later, Eric asked for leave. I kid you not."

The girls laughed and Toby chuckled too, or he tried to. As he took in a breath, a peanut got stuck in his windpipe. Olivia clapped his back fervently and Toby shook his head, miming the need for a drink. Olivia grabbed her glass of soda and pushed it into his hand. Toby gulped down the cool liquid, then brushed at his eyes.

"Thanks," he croaked, clearing his throat.

"I know you're a little tired, Toby, but really. If you're having trouble swallowing, maybe you should visit a doctor," Oz piped in and smirked at the blush that appeared on Toby's face.

"Shut up, it's all your fault," Toby said without much heat.

"Luckily, there are several trained professionals here who could have saved you," Olivia spoke with a smile and patted Toby's shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just went down the wrong pipe. Hearing Ryder's name made my throat close up," Toby gave a fake shudder and Olivia laughed. "At least you were drinking soda and not whiskey. I think that would've gone straight to my head."

"Yes well, there must be someone capable of driving you lot home when you get too much beer," Olivia grimaced and waved at the barman to bring her another soda. Toby asked for beer.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you, Dr. Fawcett," he drawled seductively.

"I like you too, Olivia," Oz piped in only to feel an elbow digging into his ribs as Sandy threw him a warning look, accompanied by one from Toby.

"Watch it, you're already spoken for."

"Hey, I said what I thought," Oz held up his hands smiling. Toby wanted to reply when he felt someone was watching him. Looking around his eyes momentarily caught Andrew's sight. The man was watching him with guarded anger, his friend John nowhere to be seen. Toby frowned and pushed against the barrier of Andrew's mind.

_Should've spiked that other chicks drink. Dumbass chugged the whole dose in one go._

Toby blinked, his eyes widening at the implication. As if hearing his thoughts, Andrew gave him a smile and a friendly wave.

_Time to leave,_ he thought and before Toby could react the guy was pushing through the growing crowd of people towards the exit.

"Hey, wait!" Toby jumped from his seat, wanting to follow him and ask what the hell did he mean by a dose, but the room flickered and he swayed unsteadily.

Olivia grabbed his shoulder and steadied him, a frown of concern marring her face."Toby? What's wrong?"

Toby shook his head, trying to clear it. "Stop him," he pointed towards the crowd.

"Who? What's the matter, pal?" Oz asked as he stepped next to Toby, pushing him back onto the bar stool.

"Andrew!"

"Why?"

"He... He drugged the drink," Toby said, and with a groan leaned against the bar.

"You are not making any sense, Toby," Oz protested while Olivia looked at the empty glass that had held her soda. Her eyes widened as she thought through the few minutes before the boys arrived. Olivia has just ordered herself a new soda when John started animatedly explaining something about his job. She didn't keep her eyes on the glass the whole time and Andrew had plenty of time to slip something into it. That might explain why he was leaning so close to her when she turned to take a sip.

"What did you hear, Toby? Do you know what he put in my drink?" Olivia asked, ignoring the uncomprehending looks on Oz and Sandy's face. Toby's right hand went up to his head, massaging his temple, and it seemed he was trying to concentrate, but he was having some trouble with it.

"I don't know. He was angry I drunk it all at once. I think it... Works faster that way."

"Crap," Oz cursed and Sandy grabbed his arm to stop him from trying to catch up with Andrew. She was pretty sure if the guy tried to drug Olivia, he wasn't stupid enough to stick around.

"Wait, how did you even hear him? He was on the other side of the room," Sandy frowned and Olivia and Oz exchanged a startled look. They hadn't realized that Sandy knew nothing about Toby's gift, and now was definitely not a good time to explain it.

"Toby can read from lips, right Toby? You saw Andrew speaking with John?"

Toby was starting to have trouble discerning Olivia's voice from all the others that suddenly seemed to occupy his head, but he saw her lips move and heard her thoughts.

"_Just give me a nod, Toby, please,"_ she asked him silently, though it reverberated through his brain like a shout. Toby gave an agreeable groan and nod, and then clutched his head with both hands, trying to stop the sounds and sights. Whatever drug that creep tried to use on Olivia, it was taking effect. Toby had never taken drugs, aside from the stuff prescribed by Ray, so he wasn't sure what was going to happen next.

Olivia touched his cheek and lifted his head, peering into his eyes. Her mouth was moving but he couldn't hear her anymore. There were voices, all around, screaming inside his head, fighting for attention. Thoughts and memories that didn't belong to him.

"Oh God, make it stop," he moaned and pushed away from the bar, trying to get out, to get away from all the people, but his legs didn't cooperate and his knees hit the floor. He would've followed but Oz and Olivia grabbed his shoulders and stood him back up.

"We need to get him out of here," Olivia told Oz urgently.

"Shouldn't we call an ambulance?" Sandy asked worriedly. She had never seen Toby so pale, and were those sweat or tears running down his cheek? Olivia ignored her and with Oz's help managed to drag Toby through the crowd and out to the street, before his legs gave up altogether and his body went slack.

The few yards separating Toby from the exit felt like eternity. His brain was filled with images and sounds, words that stopped having any meaning. Flashes of light started popping out in his peripheral vision and he felt as if every breath, every beat of his heart pumped waves of pain into his brain. The worst migraine he experienced faded in comparison and all he wanted was for the voices to stop.

Finally, he felt the fresh air on his face and for a second he dared to hope that it would get better, but the street wasn't empty. There were people milling around, families settling for dinner or preparing to go to sleep behind closed doors and windows. Too many thoughts floating around. The pain spiked and Toby couldn't handle it anymore. He felt the last of his walls buckling under the pressure and the world vanished in loud static.

oooo

When Toby woke up, it was to utter silence. The headache was still present but it was only a shadow of what it had been before and Toby felt relieved. He didn't think he could handle that much pain again. Thinking about pain, his body felt sore and strangely weak. There was a coppery taste in his mouth and a sore tongue, which told him he might've bitten down on it earlier. He had only a hazy recollection of the events preceding his collapse but he knew he was drugged and that it wasn't an experience he would ever want to repeat. Still, there were questions he needed answered. First of them was his current location.

He would've thought Olivia would have taken him to a hospital, but this appeared different. There were no thoughts from sick people floating around, no doctors trying to diagnose patients. It was surprisingly... Quiet. Frowning, Toby tried to listen. It didn't make sense. He couldn't hear anything, yet he doubted that Olivia would leave him alone in this place after a night like that. Or was it all just a dream and was he in his own bed? But even then, he could feel the life on the streets, the people passing by. He could hear the city.

But there was only silence. Oh, there was some beeping, and somewhere someone was pushing a creaking trolley... Toby's nose twitched and he smelled the air, the typical odors of the place he worked at. He started listening, not with his mind, but with his ears, and he heard all the common sounds. But there was nothing else. Just a dull place where life used to be. His breath quickening, Toby opened his eyes and looked around.

He was in a hospital room. And he wasn't alone. Olivia was sitting in a chair next to his bed, her head resting just next to his hand. Oz was flunked out on the chair by the window, equally asleep. Toby hadn't know they were there, not until he saw them.

The heart monitor next to him started beeping louder as his breaths came in short bursts and Olivia moved, head lifting up. She took one look at the monitor and turned off the sound.

"Hey there, sleepyhead," she smiled at Toby, her hand reaching out to brush the hair from his forehead, taking the chance to check his temperature. Toby blinked, frowning. He was looking at her, but he didn't know what she was thinking. There was nothing coming through, and he was really starting to panic.

"It's okay, Toby. Just relax," Olivia hushed, putting a hand on his chest to help him calm down.

"I can't hear you," Toby said desperately and got a look of concern.

"Can't hear me or _hear_ me, Toby?"

"I can't _hear_ you," Toby said a little louder. "I can't hear _anyone_." He swished his hand around the room. "I didn't even know you were here," he added timidly.

"Ah," Olivia said and Toby was startled to see she looked relaxed.

"What? What do you mean by Ah?"

"Sorry. I was worried you couldn't hear. After the seizure you had, that would have been a much bigger concern," she explained as she started checking his vitals. Toby blinked, confused.

"What seizure?"

"First, let me tell you that whatever you're experiencing is only temporary. Your ability should come back. Okay?"

Toby was happy to hear that, but he was still confused and disconcerted by the fact he couldn't make sure Olivia was telling the whole truth and not just trying to placate him. While he trusted her, he just now realized how much he relied on his ability to hear other people's thoughts. Right now he felt like one of his senses was missing. Never before did he feel so vulnerable. Olivia must've seen the emotions on his face, or otherwise had an ability to read minds of her own.

"How do you feel?" she asked.

"Lost," was the only thing Toby could say. This was a world he didn't know, a world he didn't _hear_. Somewhere in the depth of his mind he knew he was being ridiculous, that some of the paranoia was probably just a side effect of the drug, but he felt exposed. Suddenly he didn't know who was friend or foe. Even during times when he was trying to control his gift, to train himself not to listen, he could still hear some residual life. The emotions were there, the thoughts on the verge of his mind, whispering, just waiting to be let in. There was always some noise. The only time he experienced this kind of silence was with Maya, when they were alone in the forest. But he wasn't Toby then, he was William.

"Toby?" Olivia's voice broke through his thoughts and he blinked.

"What?"

"I was trying to explain to you what's going on, but you zoned out."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Maybe you should try to get more sleep."

"No, I... I need to know what's going on. Why can't I... _Hear _ you?"

"It's the drug. We're still not sure exactly what you were given, the lab tests were inconclusive. It could've been a simple roofie, or something else. Your symptoms were more severe because of your special gift."

Olivia gave the door a quick look, to make sure it was closed and no one could hear her.

"Your brain chemistry is all over the place, Toby. It looks like the drug heightened your ability to sense other people's thoughts, but it was too much for your brain. You were overloaded with information, which caused a small electrical storm in your brain. Simply said, you had a seizure."

"Tell me it was only once," Toby pleaded. He knew that if he had several more seizures after being drugged, he could be taken off the duty roaster and put on medication for the following months.

"Relax, it was only once. You will be under watch for the next twenty four hours but I'm pretty positive it won't happen again."

Toby sighed, but the relief didn't last long."What about my... telepathy?"

"Like I said, your chemistry is all over the place. The EEG is also showing some abnormalities, but the drug is still in your system. We will do an MRI in the morning, it should show us more. But I think you will get it back once your body has had a chance to recover."

"What if I don't?" Toby asked fearfully and he looked so young and lost that Olivia had to lean over and give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Then we will go from there. You're not alone, Toby. You just need to trust us. With or without your gift, there are people you can always count on."

"Yeah, but let us know when you get your magic back, man, so I know when can we do the poker tournament with Ryder. He sooo deserves to pay for this last week," Oz spoke from his chair and Toby gave him a small grin.

"He sure does, bro," he lifted his hand as Oz came to his bed and they bumped fists.

"That's my man. Now get some sleep. I heard Beckett will be here in the morning, wanting to know every detail so they can bust those bastards. Maybe by then you'll have your mojo back."

"Oz," Olivia gave him a warning glare but Toby didn't care. For once he looked at his friends and decided to trust them, based on his heart. He might've been lost, but he knew there were at least two people who would show him the way.

**The End**


End file.
